This is VERY important....

I bought some new bedding yesterday and there is a "discussion" about which pillows to use and which not to use:

Option #1: 2 big brown pillows in the back (hard to see in the picture, but they are there), 2 pillows with matching shams, 4 little pillows with the comforter folded back over:
Option #2: 2 pillows with matching shams, 3 little pillows and the comforter flat:

I won't tell you who wants which...

We need your help: #1 or #2?

Oh and disreguard the red wall...I will paint it blue. I will. I will. I will.

Birthday Continued...

I should have just waited until later to do the birthday post... :)

Ready to open presents:
A fancy dress for her upcoming Tea Party:

Can't believe I bought my 6 year old a CD, but she loves it :)

So excited:

Her sisters got her a pinkalicious doll:

Brownie Sundae's for dessert:

More birthday fun to come....

Happy 6th Birthday Allison

Birthday Breakfast Donuts...Yum! We've got our little family party tonight (presents, waffles for dinner, Chuck E Cheese with Dad (while mom plays volleyball), brownies for dessert.

Friend party on Friday...Princess Tea Party.

Family party on Sunday!

Happy Birthday Al! We love you!!

What's Been Going On....

Allison's first year of soccer. I think she has potential. AND she insists on the soccer bows, it's not me!

A hike to Twin Falls on a really hot Sunday afternoon....

An AWESOME friend turned 30...(the YW beat us to do the TPing...so we just added a few other decorations and some TP to the backyard)

Happy Birthday, love....

Some canning....

We're (Steph and I) doing peaches and pears this weekend.

I have also gotten to help in both Sam and Alli's classroom. Hopefully I'll go into Kimber next week.

I'm playing volleyball again...2 days a week, whoo-hoo.

Konrad got a new calling...he now the executive secretary...Kimber thinks a girl should do that calling, b/c after all "secretaries are girls, mom!" He is doing double duty with his Stake Sports calling right now and for a few more weeks.

This weekend is General Conference, and I am really excited for it. Comfy clothes, treats, and uplifting messages.

That's about all folks...

It breaks my heart

(skip this one if you don't want to read my whining...)

Konrad or I sing a song to Allison every night before bed. A year ago when we found out we were having another baby we added "baby" into our "We are a happy family" song.

I love Daddy he loves me, we love mommy....

I love Kimber she loves me, we love Sammy....

I love Allison she loves me, we love baby...

After I delivered Ian (I hate that I can't say after Ian was born....), we added his name into the song in place of the word baby.

I have to keep myself from crying every night she chooses that song. Sometimes I cross my fingers that she won't choose it b/c I know I can't make it through it that night.

It is a good reminder that we will be together forever, that we are a family, but it makes my family feel that much more incomplete.

Sometimes I try and imagine what it would be like if he were here. I can't even imagine it. I was holding Coleman the other night and looking at pictures of my cousins baby Max today, and I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a baby right now. Life would be so different. Life is good now (besides the obvious), and I know it would be much harder (well a different kind of hard) if he were here (I remember dreading the thought of having to adjust to the "baby-world" again), but man I would take the physical tiredness, of losing sleep, over the mental/emotional tiredness of losing a child. My brain can't handle it! Too overwhelming. Too daunting. Too never-ending.

This is the first thing in my life that I haven't been able to control. I've realized I'm a control freak. Losing control drives me nuts!

Sorry...guess I needed to "talk" this out....you all just got stuck reading it.

Bored at Tumbling....

I'm sitting at tumbling, waiting for Sam to do her thing. I'm missing volleyball and am pretty sad about that. Luckily I get to play tomorrow, so I'll survive.

I had two sick girls today. Kimber and Allison both have fevers, headaches, sore throats, ear aches, etc. Poor kids.

Figured I should do a catch-up post b/c I pretty sure you have all been wondering what we've been doing.

The girls are loving school. All are happy with their teachers and with their friends. Allison adjusted just fine to being in school all day. Better than I did in fact! It is really weird to be home without her. I really miss her at preschool. I didn't realize how much she helped me during class each day. She was my little assistant. Now I'm all on my own.

Preschool is going amazing. My kids are awesome and make me smile every morning when they come in. All of them adjusted just fine to being at school as well, I haven't had one tear...that is a first for me. Normally there is at least one who isn't sure of the whole leave-mom-and-stay-by-myself-thing. I still have a few openings if anyone is looking...

Lets see...it's fall so we are back into school, sports, and dance. Allison is playing her first season of soccer. She seems to enjoy it and I think she has some skills. We just need to practice kicking a bit harder. She is playing with 3 friends and 1 cousin, so I enjoy practices and games as well b/c my friends are there.

Sam is taking tumbling and piano. I think I'm switching her to a trampoline and tumbling class.

Kimber is dancing and playing the piano.

Konrad and I are both playing on city volleyball teams.

Bring on the busy! Actually it isn't too bad, we are home more than gone, which is good.

I have been having some problems with my joints...they think I might have rheumatoid arthritis. I go to the doctor in November to find out for sure. From what Ive heard it is an auto-immune disease, my immune system is attacking my joints. One friend told me sometimes it happens after something traumatic happens....I'm pretty sure that applies to my life at the moment. My immune system attacked my thyroid 10 years ago this fall, all because of stress. Now my joints because of stress/trauma. What's next? I'm thinking I'll just sit on the couch and eat chocolate for the rest of my life...stress free life for me.

I've been feeling pretty crappy lately. Pretty down in the dumps. I think it is the whole adjustment to my new life (3 kids in school all day long and 1 in heaven). Things are changing and I don't deal with change very well. The 6 month mark of Ians death has been hard. I'm realizing that the "he should be here" "he'd be that old" "why is everyone else able to have a healthy baby" thoughts will probably never go away. That is daunting for me. It not that I get upset after each of those thoughts, at least not upset enough to cry, but just the thought is sad enough to change my mood in an instant. The sad feeling doesn't last for long, but it still comes. Blah.....no more. All I need to do is cry in the waiting room at Dance Arts. Done that too many time already, not doing it tonight.

Speaking of crying. My mother in law taught me the best trick in the world. Since March I have been wearing waterproof mascara b/c of the tears. She taught me that if I put regular mascara on first and then water proof, the mascara will stay on through the tears, but will come off when I wash my face. It works. I don't lose eyelashes anymore :)

Another tip....my friend Mel taught me the best way to doctor up a chocolate cake mix. Make it as directed on the box, except substitute milk for the water. Then add 1 cup sour cream and 1 small box of chocolate pudding mix. It is divine. I think she said Aleisa taught her, so I guess I should give Aleisa a shout out as well!

Sorry that was really random, but I'm feeling random.

p.s. This is the first post I ever wrote on the I-pad...takes way too long to type on this thing!

While You Were Sleeping...

Most people think its crazy that I will get up at 4:45am to go wakeboarding before work. I think if you have the option, its crazy not to.




- Konrad

My Life Has Changed

So in one day, my life has changed.

I no longer have my children home with me during the day. 5 days a week, for 7 hours each day, my children are gone. I am no longer responsible for taking care of them during those hours.

It's weird.

My life for the past 11 years has been taking care of my children. Now, I only have them before and after school. Am I now just a daycare provider? :)

I have found a few perks though:

1. I can clean and not feel guilty that they are bored and/or watching TV (which means my house should be spotless with-in a day or two of my "new life")

2. I can eat as much brownie batter as I want b/c I don't have to share. Plus I'll be an awesome mom when they get home and get brownies and milk :)

3. I scheduled a doctors appointment for me (to find out why I feel like I have arthritis) and could do it WHENEVER I WANTED - not based around someone else's schedule and without having to find a babysitter.

Some of you are jealous, right? :)

All that being said, today was a pretty rough day - today was supposed to be me and Ian day...just me and the baby, relaxing as the girls went to school. Instead I had to explain to all the new teachers our situation just in case they hear about a brother and think the girls are crazy. Or wonder why there is a baby floating in a cloud in the pictures they draw of our family. This way they won't have to feel weird asking me about it and they can be on the look out for signs the girls are struggling.

This was my last "planned in my head" day that I had. Hopefully from now on things will get easier????

Bring on my new life...it's going to be adjustment, but I think I'll make it through. Especially b/c in a week I'll have 20+ little preschoolers filling up my mornings. Can't be bored with that many friends!

First Day of School

Finally, the day they have been waiting for is here. New outfits could be worn. Hair was curled. Backpacks loaded up. Lunches packed. School...here we come!!!!

5th grade...
3rd grade....(everything she is wearing has monkey's on it...shirt, pants, shoes, backpack!)

and finally...Kindergarten!

Waiting with L at the bus stop

Al getting on the bus for the first time:

Mr. Bus Driver even let me get on to take a picture...

Sam and K in line:

I can't believe these girls are in 5th grade...they are so excited to almost be the oldest in the school :)

Alli and K, who is a friend from dance class (K's mom and I actually graduated from the same High school as well...small world!):

Ready for class to start:

Now what to do with myself??? I've got until 4:00, any ideas?

Curly Kimber

Kimber decided she wanted a perm again. It didn't stick last time, but I was hoping that was because she had conditioner in her hair and the lady who did it forgot to re-wash her hair before rolling it. So we gave it a try:

I think it worked :)

There are a few straighter pieces, that I will make sure I roll differently next time, but overall it wasn't very tricky and I had fun doing it.

Ward Campout

The last weekend in August our ward had a camp out. We went to Ensign ranch and had a wonderful time. I just wish we could have been there longer. I hadn't been to Ensign ranch since I was a teenager and went to Girls Camp.

The girls were super excited to ride horses. Here they are waiting for their horses to come...
Allison:

Samantha (who was terrified to begin with, but ended up enjoying the ride...too be honest I don't know who was more scare, her or I. I am terrified of horses and I had to LEAD the horse for her. My hand had to be inches away from his mouth...I literally thought he was going to try and eat me. S.C.A.R.E.D out of my mind!)

Kimber (who did the shorter parent-led version of a horse ride as well as a trail ride the next day with her friends. On the trail ride her horse got spooked and took off running. Kimber says her helmet fell off and she thought she was going to hit a tree...she was in tears! But it didn't stop her love of horses, she is already waiting for another opportunity.)

Hanging out around the campsite:

Lot's of friends:

Tami chugged some root beer in the Minute to Win It challenge... (my camera was obviously very dirty, gross!!!)

Team 3....W'BaumTree...yes we teach our children to throw up signs :)

Josh and Anna:

Weird thought...my daughter might end up liking one of these boys at some point...

Kimber, Hallie, and Hannah in the mummy wrap

Miss Viva some how wedged herself under the bench...pretty funny!

We got to sleep in a teepee

and pull hand-carts (we couldn't drive to the campsite so they provide handcarts to drag all your stuff)

My girls LOVED the slip-n-slide. We spent a total of 4 or 5 hours on this thing:

Next year we're making it a two night thing...anyone else??